“So, you’re an author? Well, I’m a Vampire.”

From the desk of W. J. Onufer…

Promoting a new book is…shall we say…an adventure. The mysterious day-to-day lifestyle of someone, in my case, who writes Vampire fiction. The writer who always wears black. Personal friend of the Vampire Hadley Price. The glamorous life of an author.

Yeah. Right.

The reality is much more grounded. I can’t tell you how many times people have come up to me when I’m out promoting Hadley’s book and ask me if I’m the author. Those conversations are five or ten minutes in before some people ask me that. Sitting there with stacks of the same book obviously doesn’t associate me with those books.

“But you don’t look like an author.”

“This is what an author looks like,” I say.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Really?”

“Yes.”

“No. Really.”

“Yes. Really.”

After six or seven “really”s, I’ve finally convinced them that I’m the one who wrote Beckman’s Folly: Tales of the Vampire Hadley Price. (“Just You?” “Yup. Just me.”) And usually, that’s followed by them purchasing the book. To which I say, I thank you and Hadley thanks you.

So far in my adventures as a new author promoting a book, that’s about the worst as it gets. Ninty-five percent of the people I meet in situations like this are very cool. Nice folks. Fellows fans of the genre. People who read. A few have been a bit strange, but harmless. We are, after all, dealing with Vampire stories here. And the coolest goth people and cosplay people- the one’s who nail the look -are the most enjoyable conversationalist. Get past what they look like and most of the time, they’re very interesting people- not to mention their great recommendations for places to go to get funky jewelry, steam punk assesories and Vampire-ish clothing items.

But it’s those ocassional a-bit-strange people. We’re all in this because we enjoy Sci-fi/ Horror/Fantasy. Vampire stories most of all. My books have graphic sex and violence and serious drama but also have a sense of humor about it. Vampire fiction is just fun stuff. I take it very seriously because I don’t take it seriously. What’s the point if you don’t have fun with it?

So when someone comes up to me while I’m selling Hadley’s books and they tell me, “I’m a real Vampire”, Hadley rolls her eyes and reminds me to be nice. Yes, those ocassional a-bit-strange people.

Hadley does not take kindly to any mocking of her Vampire heritage. She doesn’t like Human posers with no sense of humor. She promises me that she’ll identify any real Vampires, should one approch my vendor table. So far, she’s been the only real Vampire in close proximity to me in any public appearances I make promoting her book. She says she’ll let me know. My little Vampire gal, Hadley, always has my back.

Besides, as Hadley’s official scribe, there’s nothing anyone can say that will top some of the creepiness she’s shown me. And lucky you, you get to read about that. So go ahead, try to creep-me-out by telling me you’re an authentic Vampire.

Just know that the Vampire Hadley Price is close by, watching.

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